A Change of Heart part 4

Why couldn't everyone be so supportive of her decision to stay with Tyler? Maggie, Eliza's mother, was staunchly against their marriage and had been so since the beginning. She thought Eliza could do so much better and felt that Eliza allowed herself to be used as a doormat. She also did not support Eliza's views on being a homemaker. Maggie had once been a homemaker herself, but eventually went out into the working world. Her once conservative views now smacked of feminism.

Maggie believed a woman should be able to support herself because men were unfaithful and unreliable. Eliza's father, Mark, had divorced Maggie once Eliza graduated high school after years of verbal abuse and blatant disrespect. This left Maggie very bitter and hard-hearted.

Thinking of her Mama made Eliza sad. Though she loved her mother, she had to limit her time with her because she was so toxic. Her sisters, Agatha and Flossie, were just as bad. There was no telling what they said about her behind her back when she was not around. But Eliza could not focus on them. Doing so would only bring her down and she couldn't afford to fall into the deep dark pit of despair and self-pity.

So Eliza chose to think on beautiful, happy things like baby names. She didn't care whether she had a boy or a girl, so long as the baby was healthy. But she also new that Tyler secretly wanted a boy. Oh, he said it didn't matter, but doesn't every father want a son to play ball with, to talk cars and shop, and such?

Being deep in thought, she was startled by a knock at the door. Opening the front door to the porch, there stood Esther. "Hello, Esther! Come on in." Eliza said stepping aside allowing her room to pass through.

Esther gave her a hug. "How are you, my dear?" she asked inquisitively. "I am good." Eliza said. "And Tyler? How is he?

"He was so excited when I told him we are going to have a baby." Eliza said withh a smile. "That is wonderful news!" Esther agreed. "Now let's have a look at you, little Mama."

At dinner that night, Eliza told Tyler all about her appointment with Esther. "So when are you due?" he asked. "Esther calculated July first as my due date." Eliza replied.

"Well, that will give us some time to turn the spare room into the baby's room, buy a crib, carseat, and clothes." He was planning ahead for once rather than living for the moment. This was a good sign.

"I'm sure Reba and the ladies from church will throw me a baby shower which will help out. But starting out babies really do not need much. The main expense comes from the crib and carseat, but I can probably find a crib at the thrift shop." Eliza explained.

A lot of people these days thought they were too good to do their shopping in thrift shops and wouldn't dare to even set foot in one. Eliza thought this was just plain foolishness. Why pay retail's inflated prices when you do not have to? You may as well be throwing your money away.

Eliza loved using secondhand finds to furnish and decorate their little home. One man's trash is another's man's treasure, she always believed. She bought most of her and Tyler's clothes there and they were always well dressed.

She found the prettiest dishes there, too. Her china hutch was filled with beautiful rose and chintz china. She found a set of brown transferware that she loved to use in Autumn and especially for Thanksgiving. She also had a set of dishes for Christmas and cranberry glassware that she simply adored.

Vintage linens, tablecloths, aprons, cast iron skillets, glass canisters, art work, wicker baskets, holiday decorations and various other household goods had all been found for pennies on the dollar. She also purchased some gifts there. Other gifts she liked to give her of her stitching; cross-stitch pictures and embroidered table scarves, pillowcaes and the like. Another thing she liked to give was homebaked goods and mixes made from scratch.

She loved to give to others. It made her feel good inside. Eliza had also volunteered at various organizations over the past ten years since, at the time, she had no children. She had volunteered at the animal shelter, a shelter for battered women, and the church's food pantry.

Wherever she went she wore a smile on her face and always had a kind word to offer everyone. Though she was a bit on the shy side, when she saw a need she put her shyness aside in the spirit of being of help to others.

Being a Christian meant to Eliza that she was to do as Jesus did. Jesus loved people where they were. He wasn't concerned with appearances. He healed the sick and the lame and reached out to the poor and needy. If Jesus, being the Son of God, could do all of this and even wash His disciples' feet, how much more should we be doing?

She lived by these general principles even within her marriage. She had long since given up trying to change Tyler and get him to quit drinking. It wasn't worth the turmoil it caused. She made the best of things as they were. When Tyler was sober, they enjoyed their time together. When he came home drunk, she tried to be patient, gentle, and understanding.

And now that she was with child, Tyler had promised to quit drinking. Oh, how Eliza wished it were true! But Tyler had promised her this a million times before, but had failed to hold true to his promise.

Eliza could only imagine how hard it must be for him. The alcohol helped to numb his pain only temporarily, but it caused far more trouble for him in the long run. But she had been praying for Tyler all throughout their marriage. Though there was no evidence that things were changing, she knew that God does not lie nor does His Word return void.

The only thing she could do was stay in a position of faith and keep her eyes on God. She did this by communing with God daily and getting into her homemaking. She longed to live her life in such a way that was pleasing to God. She hoped that the love of the Lord shined through her in both her words and actions.

To be continued....

Copyright  by Tracy Hathcock

A Change of Heart part 3

Great Aunty Rose had been an inspiration to her throughout her life. She was also her mentor. They spent time together each week. Eliza picked her up on Thursdays so they could both do their grocery shopping and enjoy lunch out. When everyone else told Eliza to lay the law down to Tyler concerning his drinking, Aunty Rose was sympathetic yet firmly believed in "until death do us part". She was a prayer warrior who had witnessed many miracles in her life. None greater than her marriage to Uncle John or Rascal as he was known in town.

Uncle John had been a drinking man. He was the rough and tumble cowboy type. He had worked on a cattle ranch most of his life. When he wasn't working he spent his time and his money in the honky tonk clubs on the outskirts of town. He was ruggedly handsome and a charmer. All the ladies loved him. They hung around him like bees on honey. Naturally, he loved all of the attention, but he wasn't interestetd in anything other than a good time - until he met Aunty Rose at the general store.

The general store is where Aunty Rose worked. One day Rascal came in all cocky with lopsided grin to buy supplies for the ranch. He tried to charm Aunty Rose, but she wasn't having it. She was polite, of course, but she was not about to lose her dignity by associating with the likes of such ruffians!

Rascal didn't know what to think of Rose. While he had all the other women in town eating out of his hand, this woman wanted nothing to do with him. It was a good thing he liked a challenge!

Aunty Rose was indeed a challenge...more than he bargained for. She made him work hard to win her love. He liked to teasingly call her Primrose for she was always so prim and proper. She had her standards and would not lower them for anyone.

As they spent more time together, she learned of John's painful past. While everyone in town called him Rascal, she always called him John for she felt that there was more to him than meets the eye. He was loud and a braggart. He laughed heartily and told coarse jokes. But with Rose he was tender, soft-spoken, almost shy. He was very gentlemanly with her.

Despite her best intentions, John eventually wore down her defenses and she found herself thinking of him often. She didn't want to admit it but she was falling in love with John. They married the following April and went on to have three daughters and five sons.

Much to Rose's chagrin, life with John was not a bed of roses. He soon went back to his former ways. But she loved him fiercely and was determined to stand by her man no matter the cost. She was always tender and forgiving with him and eventually won him over to the Lord without a word.

When the Lord touched his heart, he was radically changed. So sorrowful was he for hurting Rose with his foolishness, he spent the rest of his life trying to make it up to her. He became a devoted family man. The Rascal in him had finally been tamed.

It was easy to see why Eliza loved and admired her Aunty Rose so much. She knew what it was like to be heart-broken and yet come out on the other side victoriously. Eliza hoped and prayed fervently for the same outcome for her own marriage. She and Aunty Rose stood together in prayer that Tyler would be delivered from drinking and would give his heart to the Lord.

To be continued....

Copyright by Tracy Hathcock

A Change of Heart 2

The demons from Tyler's past haunted his dreams as well as his waking hours. He grew up in an abusive and highly dysfunctional home. His mother was an alcoholic. His father was never in the picture. They moved frequently or was his mother running from something? Tyler never discovered the answer to that question for his mother died a few years before he met Eliza.

So Tyler had lived a hard life. He had been living on his own since he was fifteen years old. He worked on a shrimp boat and lived and partied at the beach. He never intended to marry as his relationships never worked out, but he was enchanted by Eliza.

She was beautiful, sweet, smart, and innocent. He fell head over heels in love with her and was determined to do whatever it took to make her his very own. And she fell for it hook, line, and sinker. But his determination faulted and all of the good he resolved to do was cancelled out by his disease.

And so here they were, ten years later. Neither one of them truly happy. Both in need of something more - searching, hoping and praying, trying to fill the gaping hole in each of their hearts.

While Tyler was showering, Eliza took special care to set a pretty table for dinner. The timer went off so she swiftly headed into the kitchen to pull the rolls out of the oven and prepare their plates. She lit candles and turned on soft instrumental music to play in the background.

She rarely went to such trouble for Tyler liked to eat in his recliner in front of the television. She hoped he wouldn't fuss about eating at the table tonight, especially after she went to all the trouble to make the evening special!

Tyler stopped in his tracks when he came out of the bedroom and saw the candlelit table. Did he forget Eliza's birthday or was it their anniversary? Eliza saw him and her face lit up with a brilliant smile.

"Are you ready to eat now?" Eliza said sweetly. "Sure am. What's the occasion?" Tyler asked, looking around at the table. "Well, " Eliza began, "I have some news to share."

"Good news or bad?" he asked pensively. "You tell me." There was a long pause and then Eliza blurted it out. "Tyler, I am pregnant. We're going to have a baby!"

He nearly choked on his tea. "Seriously?" he exclaimed, as he ran over to Eliza and swooped her up in his arms. "Darlin', this is wonderful news!" and he let out a hoop and a hollar.

Eliza was surprised at his reaction. She was also relieved. Given that their marriage wasn't the most stable, she had been afraid this would only push him further away. She let out a sigh of relief and giggled.

"When are you due?" Tyler asked excitedly. "I have to make an appointment with Esther, the midwife, but I am guessing around July. I'll call first thing Monday morning." Tyler hugged her tight and kissed her. "I can't believe I'm gonna be a daddy." he said tenderly.

They sat down for dinner together for the first time in a very long time and enjoyed their tasty meal. Tyler even helped with the dinner dishes afterwards. Then they settled down on the couch and watched a little tv, but mainly they talked.

"I know things have been hard on you, " Tyler began cautiously. "I just want you to know that I am sorry for hurting you and I want to quit drinking, especially now that we're having a baby. I grew up with a drunk for a mother and it's no fun for a kid. I don't want to put my kid through the same."

"I know you don't, Tyler. I can only imagine how hard it must have been for you as a child and how hard it is to stop. I will do whatever I can to help you. I love you, honey, and I want to be there for you. Please do not shut me out of your life." Eliza said softly.

"I won't, Eliza. I promise this time things will be different." he said with resolution.

Monday soon came and Eliza called Esther to make an appointment. Esther said she could come by later in the afternoon. Now Esther was a wise old woman who had been birthing babies in their town, Whispering Pines, for many years. She had long silver hair that she wore pulled up in a neat, simple bun and she always wore long modest dresses. She was well-loved in the tight-knit community.

People went to Esther not only when they needed babies to be delivered, but for advice also, for they knew she was not one to beat around the bush. She gave sound advice based on the Word of God, whether you liked what she had to say or not. Though she was a firm believer in God, she was not religious and she did not push her views on anyone. She was just plain good to people. She gave without asking for or expecting anything in return. And the townspeople loved her for it.

Eliza had a busy day ahead of her. On Mondays she had a good deal of housework to attend to after weekends, but she didn't mind it. She enjoyed creating a cozy nest for her husband and now her little one on the way. There was laundry to be washed and hung out on the line, dusting, sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, windows to clean, and dinner to prepare for tonight.

She went about her tasks mindfully and diligently. There was no need to hurry, what didn't get done today could be done tomorrow. She liked to listen to praise music and sing along while she cleaned. Her songs became her prayer and praise and it also reminded her that there is holiness even in housekeeping when done with the right spirit.

Eliza came into her marriage to Tyler knowing nothing about keeping house. She had never learned to cook, wash clothes, or anything that had to do with domesticity. Mama always took care of all of that stuff. The only thing Eliza did was keep her bedroom clean and she did it without ever having to be reminded by Mama, unlike her two sisters. She had come a long way since then, but still felt she had so much to learn.

To be continued....

Copyright by Tracy Hathcock

Gratitude List ~ Week 44

1. Enjoying time outdoors in the afternoons.

2. White dappled fields of cotton.

3. Baby calves with their mothers.

4. Listening to the birds sing and the cool breeze coming in through open windows.

5. Found a new charity thrift shop with prices ranging from $1 - $3.99. Spent $24 and came home with a garbage bag full of jeans and long-sleeved shirts for the girls, a Nautica sweatshirt for Kendall, and a couple things for me.

What are you thankful for today?

A Change of Heart

She held her head in her hands as the tears poured freely. He left again in a drunken fit of anger, tires squealing on the asphalt, flinging dirt and rocks from here to kingdom come. This had become an almost nightly event. Tyler Clark usually came home late, long after supper had been served, just looking for any excuse to start a fight so he could leave again to drink with his buddies.


Eliza was heart-broken and weary from the constant upheaval and drama. This was not the life she had envisioned for herself when she said yes to Tyler's proposal many moons ago. Through the years things had progressively grown worse, though she had tried everything under the sun to make things better so Tyler would want to come home instead of drinking with the guys. Nothing had worked.

Eliza could feel her heart harden like stone a little more after each disappointment. Her hope was fading fast. She wiped her face, drying her eyes. Something was welling up inside of her, a determination to create a new life for herself and the new life she was carrying in her womb, with or without Tyler Clark.

Tyler was a good man deep down, but alcohol controll his life. He was so out of touch with reality that he had no idea yet that Eliza was expecting their first child! Eliza knew she could not go on with the way things were and she certainly didn't want to raise a baby in the midst of such turmoil. What was she to do? Who could she turn to?

For the first time in a long time she began to pray. "Dear Lord, I know I haven't spoken to you in quite a while, but I need you now more than ever. I pray that you will remove this mountain of alcoholism from my life one way or another by whatever means necssary. I can not live this way - nor do I want my baby to. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen."

She walked over to the bookshelf and reached for her Bible. It hadn't been taken down from the shelf for quite some time judging by the dust on the cover. She dusted it off as she walked to her desk. Once seated she opened the cover and turned to 1 Corinthians 7 where her eyes fell upon a passage about divorce:

"And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy."

Well, she thought, that means divorce is out of the question. In all honesty, she did not want a divorce. She wanted a happy family and to know her husband truly loved her. He told her daily that he loved her, but how could he when he made promises he couldn't keep and left her broken and hurting?

She began to pray again, asking the Lord to forgive her sins and to come into her heart. She asked Him to change her from the inside out, to make her a virtuous woman and to give her wisdom. After praying she felt a little lighter, as if her heavy burden had been lifted from her shoulders.

Eliza decided she would not spend the day fretting over the things she could not change or control. Oh, how she had tried to control Tyler, to make him stop drinking! She chased, nagged, and cajoled him mercilessly all to no avail. She realized now that the only person she could control was herself. She gave the rest of her troubles and cares to the Lord to handle. She was washing her hands of it all.

She set about her daily tasks with a renewed sense of diligence and peace while listening to uplifting music. She dusted and scrubbed her little home until it sparkled like a gem in the sunshine. When the housework was complete, she baked chocolate chocolate chip cookies and put a roast in the crockpot to have for dinner. She would add potatoes and carrots later in the day.

With her inside work now complete, she decided to go sit outside for a while and soak in the sun's juicy warmth. She must enjoy these days while she could for it would turn cold before long. She brought with her her journal, Bible and a glass of ice cold lemonade.

Eliza had kept a journal for many years now. Being able to write out her feelings and thoughts helped keep her halfway sane. If she had been unable to journal for some reason she felt she would surely be sucked down into a dark abyss. She kept her old journals locked away in her hope chest in the attic. She did not want them to be read as they contained very personal thoughts and feelings, and yet she felt she must continue. She must write or die.

When she first met Tyler she was taken aback by his good looks. He had long dark hair, hazel eyes that twinkled and long, dark eyelashes, a strong nose, and full lips, a mustache, and skin that was bronzed by the sun. He had Cherokee and Creek Indian blood coarsing through his veins. He was beautiful, plain and simple, but he was also kind, charming, and good-humored.

Despite all of these good qualities, she knew he was a party boy and was a little afraid of him. Eliza had grown up very sheltered and was not accustomed to being involved in the party scene, so she was very uncomfortable around such things and people.

But several months later Tyler had found out her number and called. They talked for hours on the phone that first night. He told her he no longer drank or partied, and she being young and naive believed him. He asked her out on a date and she said yes.

Things moved very quickly after that. It was a whirlwind coutship, to say the least. After three weeks Tyler asked Eliza to marry him and she agreed. And they married a few months later. Looking back now, she could see the warning signs. He had never really stopped drinking, but by then it was too late. Though she was now married, she felt more alone than ever.

One good thing she could say for Tyler was that he worked hard to provide for her and never asked her to go out to work. When they first met and married, neither of them had two pennies to rub together. Though they weren't rich by any means now, they always had enough. The bills always got paid and they had a roof over their heads, clothes to wear and food to eat.

Now they had a little one on the way. It hardly felt like the right time, but Eliza believed that everything happens for a reason. God makes no mistakes, so there must be a reason for her to be with child now. All she could do now is pray, trust, and believe that God would work all things out for her good. Feeling tired and slightly nauseous, she decided to go lay down and rest for awhile.

Tyler came home expecting Eliza to be upset with him. She always was these days. But when he opened the front door the smell of dinner was wafting through the air and, man, it smelled good! Eliza heard the door close and turned around with a smile on her face.

"Hey Honey! Dinner is almost ready. I'm just waiting on the rolls to come out of the oven." She sounded happy for once. "It smells wonderful. What are we having?" Tyler asked.

"Oh, a roast with potatoes, carrots and gravy served with hot buttered rolls and there is your favorite cookies freshly baked for dessert." she said. "Do you want a glass of tea?"

"Not right now. I think I'll go get a shower and get cleaned up." Tyler said. "Do I got enough time before dinner?"

"Yep. I have a fresh towel and washcloth laid out for you in the bathroom. Also, clean clothes to change into." she replied. "Thanks." was all Tyler could say before he left the room.

Eliza was really a good woman. She put up with a lot of crap from him, the late nights and drinking. He knew she didn't like it, and though he had told her a million times that he would stop, he never could bring himself to do it. The alcohol whispered his name and he couldn't resist the temptation. Like a bird caught in snare, Tyler was bound by the cords of sin.

He hated himself for not being stronger and for hurting Eliza needlessly. But he was in so much pain from his past, he sought escape in booze. It helped to relax him and made him forget his troubles for awhile. In reality, it only made things worse.

He wanted to make Eliza happy. He hated to see her upset and sad all of the time. Oh, she tried to hide it from him, but her blue eyes told him the real story. The light in them had faded long ago. He had disappointed her too many times. Could he ever make it up to her? Could he find the power to quit drinking? He didn't know the answers to those questions.

To be continued.....

Copyright owned by Tracy Hathcock

NaNoWriMo

I am a week behind, but decided to join in on the NaNoWriMo challenge to write a 50,000 word book in a month. You can see my widget on the sidebar.

Wish me luck!

This is a family group shot of us with Joel after his football game when we went to visit him in Hilliard, FL on October 16th. We all wore red to show our spirit and support. Joel's team, the Flashes, won the game that week. :)

Back row from left: Kendall, me, Joel, Alfred

Front row from left: Kenzie and Kayla

Well, I am off to write. I have a lot of catching up to do. Hope you enjoy your weekend!

Riches in Simplicity

I've been enjoying warm afternoons working out in the yard. Yesterday I planted four azalea bushes and moved my hydrangea plant from the back to the front yard. Tomorrow, I'll be weeding the flower beds one last time. I must enjoy these Indian Summer days while they last.

But as the weather turns cold, my time will be spent indoors. I will dream and plan for Spring's return. There is much to do around our little homestead. I want to try container gardening this year since our soil is so poor, install a clothesline, plant more flowers, repaint my swing.

I'll spend more time preparing comfort foods, baking, stitching, and doing work indoors. As a family we'll watch movies, both inspirational and holiday specials, read uplifting books, listen to music, have conversations on all sorts of things.

After being inspired by Mia, I am thinking of how nice it would be to eat outdoors occasionally come Spring time and use lanterns in the evenings instead of electricity. I would also like to have company over for dinner more often and be able to welcome people into my home without hesitation - not because our home is perfectly, we do live here! - but because our home is peaceful, welcoming, cozy and full of charm.

I imagine that my dream of a simple life is rather unique these days (no one I know seems to seek simplicity...I have found kindred spirits online, of course!).  I don't mind swimming against the tide, for I want a slower, gentler life for me and my family.

A simple life has the potential to be rich in the things that really matter: love, joy, peace, contentment, purpose, and satisfaction. When one clears away the excess then life may be fully lived - to the full, overflowing in an adundance  of treasured moments and memories, experiences, and enjoyable past-times.

While the idea of simplicity appears to be an oxymoron (the simple life isn't necessarily easy), the hard work boosts your self-confidence because you know how to do things yourself, you sleep better at night, and the work is satisfying and good for you.

Becoming more attuned with nature is like discovering a secret mystery. There are things to look forward to with each passing season. One pays more attention to the weather cycles. The wildlife whispers its wisdom. Oh, the riches it has to offer us!

A Virtuous Woman

"Imagine my surprise when I arrived at Hector's aunt's home and stepped into the most peaceful paradise I'd ever experiened anywhere in the world. Our hostess, Beatriz Duenas, was the picture of beauty, elegance, and ease as she welcomed us, showed us to our rooms, and then gave us a tour of the breathtaking grounds. We walked and talked amid trees bursting with avocados, bananas, blackberries, guavas, oranges, papayas, plantains, and tangerines. She showed us her chicken coops, trout pond, coffee crop, and even her worm farm. Every inch of her property is productive; it's a reflection of a woman who embodies energy, creativity, and productivity.

Breakfast the next morning featured a variety of fresh-squeezed juices, eggs scrambled with tomatoes, peppers, and onions, and freshly grown coffee--and every item on the menu was produced right on the property. Our morning walk took us to her favorite place; a small stone and wrought-iron chapel with wooden benches that looked centuries old. Beatriz exuded quiet God-confidence as she explained that she has spent many hours praying, reading, and meditating in this open-air sanctuary. I knew I was standing on holy ground.

In the early afternoon, following our three-hour horseback ride through lightly tamed jungle that featured every conceivable shade of green, we sat by an open-fire woodstove, eating steak from a nearby cattle ranch along with freshly grown and grilled vegetables. I marveled at the self-sufficiency of this beautiful place and the beautiful woman who oversaw it all."

~from Becoming the Woman God Wants Me to Be by Donna Partow

Little Helpers

A recent breakfast from scratch - homemade bread topped with mayo, cheese, eggs and pepper.

The Marigolds I planted from seed are now blooming!

Kenzie and Kayla picking up grass clippings I had raked into piles to put in our compost pile.

Chatting while working...

I love the way the sunlight filters through the trees...

They made many trips to the compost pile...

Teamwork...

Beautiful pastel sky...

Helping in the kitchen...

Kenzie made instant cheese grits to go with our breakfast dinner...

Kayla is making a cake for dessert.

Stirring, stirring....

Smiley girl...

Ta-Da! Yummy chocolate cake  is always a treat!

The girls and I had a really good day yesterday. We did "school" - a math worksheet, copied a passage from Little House in the Big Woods by Laura Ingalls Wilder and began reading the book. We also read from Christian Liberty Nature Reader and began Beautiful Girlhood.

Afterwards, the girls helped with laundry - folding and putting away, Kenzie vacuumed the living room and hall while I tackled other tasks, and I let them watch Bolt online via NetFlix.

This afternoon, we headed outdoors. I raked and then sat down to rest, journal, and snap pictures of the girls doing yardwork. Then it was time for dinner and cake-baking.

All in all it was a very good day.