I am now 40 years old. In my spirit, I am 24 or sometimes 14 or even younger if I hear a song that takes me back to that place in time.
We live in a youth obsessed culture. Many claim their youth was/is the best time of their lives. However, it wasn't for me.
I was an extreme worrier. I worried about what people would say or think about me. I was very shy. I was critical and unforgiving - especially of myself. I was insecure about a lot of things - especially my appearance. My life was a big old tangled web of negativity.
As I've grown older, I've changed. I am not who I once was.
Now, I could care less about what other's think of me. I can strike up a conversation with a stranger in the supermarket, offer a compliment, or sing along to the background music.
I am now much more forgiving and less critical of myself and others. People do the best they can, where they are. However, I am not condoning abuse of any kind. If you're in that situation, I would advise you to get out immediately. Life is too short to be miserable and abused--verbally, emotionally, or physically! There is no room in my life for toxic people.
I have a more ample figure these days, but I am more accepting of myself and my body. I am not going to punish myself through a strict diet or fitness regimen. I am taking a gentler approach - smaller portions, more fruits and veggies, and gentle exercise. I'm more concerned with being healthy than being a size 2.
I am a woman who knows what I want and enjoys the simpler things in life. Give me time to read, write and music. Take me to the beach. Spend time in nature. Glorious weekend naps with my love and I'm a happy girl.
These days I'm pretty darn happy with life. I have a feeling Mama is right, like she always is.
The best is yet to come.