Friday, October 12, 2012


I've had alot on my mind. The questions swirl through my head without ceasing. Questions I do not have the answers to yet. And I sit paralyzed. What if I make the wrong choice?

I have come to the point where I am tired of living a mediocre existence. I've settled into a comfortable, boring routine and I hate it. I feel restless and discontent...depressed even.

Should I get a job? Should I go back to college? At 38, am I too old to go to college?

What excites me? What am I passionate about? I can't even begin to tell you.

How do you widen your social circle if you don't have one to begin with? I have been so focused on home and family that I no longer have a life of my own.

So many unanswered questions...thus the reason for my lack of blogging. I write not for pity, but to hopefully sort out these feelings and find me again.


Lilac Dreams said...

Tracy, How long till Hubby comes home? Maybe start looking for some online classses that you are interested in.

My Sister went back at the age of 55 to the comunity college to be a travel historical person, I can not think of the technical name, but she finished right before her 57th birthday. She said it was surprising how many were there that were even in their 40's. So no it is not too late.

They just had on the news not that long ago about a 98 year old lady who just completed her High School diploma.


Debra said...

Well, you're definitely not too old to go to college. Everybody and his Aunt Jane is going back nowadays. :)

I've felt the way you're feeling quite a few times in my life, but the good news is that it usually happens right before God reveals the next project He's got for me. So the test becomes--will I race out and just grab at something to fill my time or will I use this time to get closer to God and hear from Him what He wants me to do?

Of course, God can use college or a job to show us new ideas, new projects, or to simply show us what we *don't* want to do. Sometimes we just have to get out of the boat--we have to step out to find out (as Joyce Meyer would say).

To me you've always sounded passionate about homemaking, decorating and child-rearing... could God be leading you to become a mentor to other women in these areas? There's a ton of ways to be a mentor both online and in real life and it's very fulfilling to help others.

Have you taken one of those tests which help reveal what you'd be good at doing and what you'd enjoy? Those tests are online--they could be a jump-start for you.

I believe God wants us to be excited about our lives and I'm believing you'll find that excitement soon! Our strengths and graces and callings were never meant to be secrets--and really-they're not complicated to find. Please relax and just do today what God asks you to do today. Then seek and obey Him tomorrow and the next day and before you know it, you'll discover yourself in the middle of what you were called to do--and in the middle of much joy.

Blessings, Debra

Nita in South Carolina said...

I don't think you're too old at all! My mother-in-law went to college for the first time at age 50 and became a nurse. I'd suggest you make an appointment at your local community college, with the admissions counselor. They can guide you and give you lots of ideas. I look forward to reading what you are up to!

Sandy said...

You're never too old to embark on a journey that brings you passion and excitement. Bt now, I'm sure your're focused on getting adjusted to having your husband back home. It's never too late to go back to school. I've faced many changes and health challenges the past few months and have questioned why things have unfolded the way they have. I made a decsion (a kind of forced one) to retire from a job where I worked for 18 years. I'll be going back to school full time for the next year to finally finish my bachelor degree at age 57 (that,s how old I'll be in December) It's a financial risk to leave the secure paycheck (I don't get a pension) but hubby and I are betting on my future to embark on a journey that will make my heart sing. Taking it one day at a time and asking for god's guidance and strength each step of the way. Sometimes god does things for me that I can't do for myself and uses other people to give me a shove. It's scary to step into the unknown at my age, but I'm not going to let that stop me. I say, go for the things that bring you joy!