As a little girl, Mama always taught me to use my manners and be polite. The problem comes in when you are afraid to say what you really think out of fear of hurting someone's feelings, making someone mad, or overextending yourself because you want everyone to think well of you. What usually happens is we become tired, resentful, and develop a martyr complex.
I'm learning to say no.
No, I don't want company...
No, I can not help with the whatever it is...
No, no, no, no, NO!
I don't go out of my way to be mean to people, but I am not going to stand by silently seething because I feel put upon by others needs and expectations. I no longer care if I ruffle feathers or make you mad. I have boundaries and if you don't like it....it's your problem.
I am finding my voice and it is freeing!