Friday, December 23, 2011

Finding My Voice

As a little girl, Mama always taught me to use my manners and be polite. The problem comes in when you are afraid to say what you really think out of fear of hurting someone's feelings, making someone mad, or overextending yourself because you want everyone to think well of you. What usually happens is we become tired, resentful, and develop a martyr complex.

I'm learning to say no.

No, I don't want company...

No, I can not help with the whatever it is...

No, no, no, no, NO!

I don't go out of my way to be mean to people, but I am not going to stand by silently seething because I feel put upon by others needs and expectations. I no longer care if I ruffle feathers or make you mad. I have boundaries and if you don't like's your problem.

I am finding my voice and it is freeing!


vmichelle said...

That's great! I know it's not easy to do, so I applaud you.

FlowerLady said...

We DO have to learn to say NO. And yes it is FREEING.

Love and hugs to you Tracy this Christmas.


Debra said...

Merry Christmas, Tracy! Wishing you all the very best this coming year and always.

And yes! Do keep saying no. :) Your real friends will understand. Blessings, Debra said...

Hi Tracy, I'm reading through some of your other posts. I really like what you have to say. It's very empowering to say no without guilt. My philosophy is that it's much better to say no when I don't want to do something than say yes and then have a resentment. People can feel our negative energy when we're doing something out of "people pleasing" and not out of love. Setting boundaries is a good thing. It's easier with some people than with others but practice, practice, practice.