Friday, November 20, 2009

Meek and Gentle Spirit

What do you do when your husband has a really bad day at work and hears bad news on top of that and is then mad at you? Do you fight back or give him the silent treatment and go to bed angry?

Well that's what happened yesterday. My usually sweet husband was so mad because I let Kendall drive to the store with a tire that was low on air with my sister and then go practice driving only to have the tire blowout. I really thought it would be fine and no one was hurt. Kendall even learned how to change a tire!

So, yeah, he was furious - would hardly talk, didn't eat dinner, stayed in his refuge for most of the evening and went to bed early. How did I handle it? I just stayed sweet as I explained I really didn't know better and thought it would be okay. Then I went about my business as usual. I didn't get defensive or feel the need to fight. Instead I fixed him some of my awesome hot cocoa and gave him plenty of space.

Before he went to bed, he explained that he had had a bad day at work, so it wasn't just me that he was upset about. He began to talk a little more. And I ended the evening by kissing him goodnight and saying I love you. The night ended on a good note.

If I had fought with him, it would have only have made things worse. Things would have been blown greatly out of proportion and the little foxes of bitterness and resentment would threaten to overtake the marriage garden. No, thank you! Instead I clothed myself in the cloak of a meek and gentle spirit and allowed the fire-storm pass. Without fuel, the flames have no choice but to die down.

This morning all is well once again in his kingdom and life goes on as usual.

Dear God, please let him have a good day at work...pretty please!


Sandcastle Momma said...

Good for you! I wish I had that kind of patience. Usually when mine gets mad I end up getting mad and then we're both mad and cranky. I'm going to remember this post and give it a try.

Terri said...

Oh Tracy,
I understand this perfectly! I had a hard time learning to wear that cloak, coming from a background where arguments were the norm. But I've learned over time to bite my tongue and give that 'soft answer that turneth away wrath' more often rather than less and it does change things dramatically. So many women have a desire to rise up and be hateful without allowing the husband to vent and then sort out his feelings.

Blessedmom's Simple Home said...

Thanks for sharing this. It's so easy to answer back, but so much more pleasant not to. It sounds like you have a wonderful husband who is also a great father. I think he's blessed with a pretty awesome wife too!

Sandra said...

Sometimes I forget that my husband has had to be out in the world dealing with all kinds of things and here I am with my children and the comforts of our home all day. I get irritated just going to get groceries so I know it effects them when they are in it all day. I too have found the best thing to do is just be kind and leave him alone!!

cathleen said...

Tracy, you are such a sweetheart!

Not Hannah said...

Oooh, this is a lesson I need to learn. Not sure if Will could learn it with me, though. :)

mountainmama said...

goodness, that sounds like it was tough~ and you handled things so smoothly. though you don't sound meek at all. you sounded calm and strong. and that you took care of yourself and your family in your thoughts~ best to you and yours!