Friday, February 06, 2009

Secret #5: Committing to Self-Focus


This week in the book study hosted by Jamie Ridler, the next secret is committing to self-focus.

This quote really stood out:

"Eternally, woman spills herself away in driblets to the thirsty, seldom being allowed the time, the quiet, the peace, to let the pitcher fill up to the brim."
~Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Having a family and home, there is always some need to meet or another thing to check on on the to-do list. It is easier to set our need for creativity aside in order to keep the peace, make sure the home is running smoothly and family needs are met.

But what about our needs? They are no less important than that of our family's, and yet we treat them as so. Then we can't understand why we dread facing a new day and what used to make our hearts sing no longer has appeal.

Balance is the key. I admit this is an area I struggle with. It is easier to carry on as always rather than making the necessary changes to give my creativity an outlet. Fear and insecurity is a great inhibitor. But there comes a time when you hit your own personal bottom...when you can't bear the thought of living one more day putting your needs on the back burner and are no longer content to sit on the sidelines of life passively watching it pass you by.

Change is hard but living an unfulfilled life is even harder...

Where do we start?

We start by giving ourselves permission to create the time and space needed to create, like Alice Aspen March did (pg. 91-92). We start by giving ourselves permission to create badly - letting go of perfectionism. We start by making time for self-care and solitude. We start by making our needs known (our families are not mind-readers, you know), setting boundaries and priorities.

Just start...

14 comments:

Bohemian Single Mom said...

("Change is hard but living an unfulfilled life is even harder...")
Aint it the truth?
I am starting to allow myself the "permission" to go ahead and create, imperfectly and all.

Great post!

todayandeveryday said...

"create badly"--I LOVE that! made me snicker. I think you are so on the right track. . . balance and boundaries very key.
Peace~
Dawn

Sandcastle Momma said...

I really like this post. Taking time for me always seems to be at the bottom of the list. I love my family but sometimes I feel as if they literally suck the life out of me!
I'm going to start by doing something just for me today.

Gypsy said...

Never has there been a time when I need to do this!~ Thank you for this wonderful post!~

Raggedy Girl said...

I feel like I keep coming back to you each day like I am in psychotherapy. Would you like to bill my insurance. I am taking the whole day tomorrow to scrapbook and the house can just wait. Thank you.
Roberta Anne

Kavindra said...

Yes, permission to create badly. Very true and wise. So hard to do!

CynthiaMarie said...

Just start -- there is the key!

sweetness and light :)

Caroline said...

Permission to create badly? That's a really great place not just to start - but to live in!

blisschick said...

If it weren't for my HORRENDOUS first draft, my novel would not exist. Write crap and get it done; fix it later -- that's what I teach adults coming to writing for the first time, having dreamed of it their whole lives.

1,000 Faces of MotherHenna said...

YES! Permission to create badly!! Wonderful reminder -- thank you! When I allow myself to play and create badly, often the best stuff comes from it! :)
miracles,
k-

intothedawn said...

Change is hard but living an unfulfilled life is even harder-- YES! That is a huge truth. But giving oneself permission to create, evenly badly, makes the road a little easier; at least it did for me.

carin.c said...

Balance is defintely the key. That was my "word" two years ago when I started my journey into self-care and rebuilding me. We do not have to pick one over the other - we can care for others and our selves if we can find the right balance and the right boundaries.

Penelope said...

what a beautiful quote!

Alice Aspen March said...

Recognition of our historical cultural demands to be all things to all people has to be consciously handled at this time! We've got to see ourselves for the women we are with needs, feelings, gifts and foibles. Sharing our journeys, our self-permissions, boundary settings, and discoveries with no judgment is vital to make our planet a better place.