Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Too Nice

There was an incident over the weekend that left me disappointed in myself and yet furious. It made me think about many things. I took my kids and my teen brother to the mall and the boys wanted to go to Starbucks. While waiting on their order, an older man comes up to my son telling him what he was wearing was disrespectful and he should be ashamed of himself. He was wearing tripp pants and a band tee, not bothering anyone or being loud or obnoxious.

And what did I do? Nothing. I was in shock.....that this man would have the nerve to come up to my son and say such a thing. My son wasn't even disrespectful to him in his reply. And the more I thought about it, the angrier I became.

I believe we are taught as young girls to be respectful.....to be nice and not make a scene or stir the waters because we may make someone angry or hurt their feelings. We, then, become too afraid to stand up for ourselves or speak our minds. But at what cost to us?

No more!

From this point on, I have resolved to be true to mySelf. To stand up for myself and speak my mind - whether the hearer likes what I have to say or not. I will no longer keep silent and hide mySelf out of fear. I will not give away my power.


Lady Laurie said...

Dear Tracy,
Sorry to hear this happened ~ some people can't keep their opinions to themselves.
I would have trouble too "telling off" an older person ~ but I was raised to be a "nice girl" too. I guess thats why I never speak up to my mother~in~law, although believe me I wish I would!! I say "go Tracy!" ~ I think there is such a thing as being too nice!!
I have long ago let go of my preconceived ideas about how kids dress ~ sometimes the nicest ones dress the funkiest! Hey thats ok, my daughter has her tongue pierced, several tattoos and her belly button pierced. But she is the sweetest girl around!! Clothes, hair color, tattoos, whatever its just a way to express ourselves!
Kudos to your son for being such a gentleman ~

Natalie said...

Good for you! I too find myself sometimes not saying something because I do not want to cause problems. I have been trying to work on that for the past few years. If I had not stood up for what I believed in with my job I would not have gotten the promotion that I did. Good luck to you!

sarah p said...

You go girl!

On the other hand, I can also see this as a good experience for your son - handling others' fears and prejudices with gentleness and calm. You must be proud of him!

I have to speak up for myself today on a couple of issues and I'm feeling literally sick about it. I hate confrontation! And I was raised by a feminist. But society has some very strong messages to girls about how they should be.